Stephan Pastis

This book was never meant to exist. No one needs to know the details. Just know this: there's a Merry, a Larry, a missing tooth, and a teachers' strike that is crippling Timmy Failure's academic future....

Timmy Failure is not just any detective - he is the greatest detective in his town, perhaps the nation. He is so famous that there have been seven books written about his life. Plus a movie....

Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. I am, however, beset by enemies, the worst of whom is Tom John John, the buffoonish movie director....

With the help of a polar bear named Total, Timmy Failure hopes to strike it rich by running the best detective agency around....